Stuart Diamond: 3 Keys to Masterful Negotiation – Podcast Notes

Stuart Diamond (interview at 24:53), Wharton School Professor and teacher of negotiation to over 30,000 people in over 50 countries reveals his 3 keys to masterful negotiation. Aleks outlines how persuasion guru Robert Cialdini is creating a new organizational sales paradigm(4:29), his 10 keys to Persuasion (6:23), the 4 Cs of Persuasive Communication (41:29), the deep desires discovery process (47:20), offers an amazing fantasy gift (54:45) and more.

Stuart Diamond - Getting More

Stuart Diamond – Getting More


Priming Question: (to consider as you listen to show or read notes)

What can I begin doing today to make my interactions with others more effective?

Perusaion Guru Robert Cialdini advice for executives from the Financial Times Article (4:29)

Robert Cialdini – probably the most famous researcher in the field of influence and persuasion says companies should have what he calls Chief Persuasion Officers.

He says “persuasion science” – which draws on psychology, neuroscience and behavioural economics – should be deployed in a systematic way. Too often its use is higgledy-piggledy and rarely based on “properly controlled, soundly conducted research”. Which is why Prof Cialdini believes that rather than leave decisions on influencing customers and employees to marketers or human resource executives, they should collaborate with expert chief persuasion officers.

“When it comes to influencing the behaviours of others, it is often the smallest changes in approach that make the biggest differences,” the authors write.

The growing influence of behavioural economics can also be seen by the establishment in the UK and US of units advising government on the best way to change the public’s behaviour.

When speaking at events, every time the authors announced to an audience that they would unveil something small to create a big change, “the mood changed, people’s heads lifted, pencils were poised to take notes”.
Time-pressed executives want to cut through the noise and learn by example. Part of the appeal, he concedes, is also because doing something small is cheap.

To lead on from this, I offer my…

10 Keys to Persuasion (6:23) – Full article transcript and link

1.Make at Least One Element of Your Persuasive Effort Very Specific
2. Give a Reason 
3. Freedom of Choice
4. Using Credible and/or Popular Sources
5. Get Small Agreements Up Front
6. Contrast High to Low
7. We All Hate Losing and Love Winning
8. Tell Stories, Especially Origin Stories 
9. Attractiveness is Crucial
10. Limit the Time or Supply

24:53 – Interview with Stuart Diamond – 12 minutes – Full transcript in Destiny Defining Decisions sample chapter. Available to people on the mailing list. What you learn is below.

• The three key rules for negotiating anything with anyone
• The importance of understanding the perceptions and
emotions of others
• Battle of the sexes: find out — who are the better
• How to create mutually beneficial situations in any
• Why power and force are unnecessary in skillful negotiation
and what you do need to promote instead.

4 Cs of Persuasive Communication (41:29) – Full transcript in Destiny Defining Decisions sample chapter. Available to people on the mailing list.

Clarity – First, you want to be crystal clear about the outcome you want to have and how you are going to go about getting it.
Consistency – Second is consistency. Because you are clear on what you want, and open to what they want, this part of the process is about continually generating benefits for working together.
Congruence – Next is congruence. As you continue to find benefits, at the same time, you should be looking at which benefits in particular they seem to resonate with.
Commitment – Last is commitment. You need to be fully committed to what you are presenting. You need to be prepared for any possible objections or changes that may need to be made.

3 Key Questions of the Deep Desires Discovery Process (47:20)

1. Why did you decide to speak with me (today)? or come in today…
2. Why is that (so) important to you? (that’s important to you because…)
3. What would that mean about you?

54:45 – Fantasy Gift – Persuasion Fragrance – Full transcript in Destiny Defining Decisions.

Challenge of the week

This week’s challenge – whether you want to use your Persuasion cologne or Perfume is up to you – is – using all about remembering the 4 c’s and using the 3 questions to get to someone’s deepest desires. Just practice those questions in any context, and it will help you develop a much greater and deeper understanding of others.


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