Likeability is the new cool!

Passion is cool! Making a difference in people’s lives and having positive and genuine experiences with others is also cool! Gone are the days of where the primary indicator of coolness was being the rebellious and detached ‘bad boy’ or ‘bad girl’.

This is hardly surprising. Considering we are living in such an artificial world now, what used to be common and therefore uncool (connecting and being nice to people) has suddenly become cool. This would be completely absurd to a teenager from the 50’s.

In the 50’s, being a rebellious loner who shuns classic values made you cool. In today’s world, being loner without any real sense of direction is common. Meeting someone who is passionate and who takes the time to enjoy and cultivate an emotional connection with you is a rare and desperately sought after experience.

How do you increase your likeability (and coolness) and build a connection with someone?

Here are a few quick tips. 

1. Prepare your own state. If you want someone to share a positive experience with you, it is important to first cultivate the right emotion inside yourself. The easiest way to do this is to take a moment to breathe and imaginally immerse yourself in a time when you felt the desired emotion (e.g. kind, curious, fun, pleasant etc).

2. Engage fully. Now that you are feeling the desired emotion, do not hold back when first meeting the other person or people. Express yourself with the full intention of creating a positive experience. Ensure that your smile is genuine, your body language is open and you look at their eyes with a sense of welcome.

First impressions are extremely important as much research into snap judgements will attest. To learn more about them, go here:

3. Use open ended questions and explore their interests and hobbies with them. When speaking to them, be curious about their interests and ask about their positive experiences in relation to their interests and hobbies. Aim to really experience their stories about what they enjoy with them by remaining curious and asking for additional details about the most interesting aspects of what they love doing.

Bonus tip – because traditional coolness still counts – make sure after you have spoken that they see you ride off an a ‘badas*’ motorcycle with flames down the side. 


Blog entry inspired by research reported at following link:

One Response to “Likeability is the new cool!”

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