Jenn Lim: 4 Steps to Delivering Happiness in Business – Podcast Notes

Jenn Lim (interview at 36:00), CEO for Delivering Happiness and business partner with #1 New York Times Best-Selling author and Zappo’s founder Tony Hsieh reveals their 4 step business model. Aleks outlines current business failure rates (8:50), the 10 guidelines to entrepreneurial happiness (14:50), how to build amazing relationships (28:38) and rapport (32:05), offers an amazing fantasy gift (106:19) and more.

Show Highlights and Notes

Jenn Lim - Delivering Happiness

Jenn Lim – Delivering Happiness

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Priming Question (to consider as you listen to show or read notes)
Who are the people that that you personally or professionally feel the deepest connection with, and what could you do to further enhance the positive experiences that you will have with these people in the future?

Current Business Failure Rates (8:50) – From Statistics Brain

I found these statistics from a website called statistics brain and the research was reported in the first half of 2014. Although in my experience, the trends tend to remain pretty stable regardless of the year. Below are business failure rates.
Year Percent Failed
Year 1 25 %
Year 2 36 %
Year 3 44 %
Year 4 50 %
Year 5 55 %
Year 6 60 %
Year 7 63 %
Year 8 66 %
Year 9 69 %
Year 10 71 %

Top 5 Leading Management Mistakes

1 Going into business for the wrong reasons
2 Advice from family and friends
3 Being in the wrong place at the wrong time
4 Entrepreneur gets worn-out and/or underestimated the time requirements
5 Family pressure on time and money commitments

The Number One Cause of Failure is Incompetence at 46% and involves the following:
Emotional Pricing
Living too high for the business
Nonpayment of taxes
No knowledge of pricing
Lack of planning
No knowledge of financing
No experience in record-keeping

To avoid business failure and reduce business stress, a set of guidelines were created.

The Entrepreneurial Happiness Guidelines (14:50) – Full explanation of each guideline can be found at this link – http://blog.fulfillinghappiness.com/success-psychology/10-guidelines-to-entrepreneurial-start-up-happiness
The list is:
Entry and Exit Limits
Humility over Get Rich Hype
Accountability
Passion Focus
Praise Yourself, Others and the World
Inspiration Triggers
Negative Emotion and Commentary Acceptance and Transformation
Empowering Belief Generation
Stress Management
Self-Worth must always be greater than Net-Worth

How to build amazing relationships and (28:38) and rapport (32:05).

As humans, we want pleasurable experiences and the best pleasurable experiences are those that are shared with others. Think of it this way – how does it feel when you’re listening to a recording of your favourite band on your own, versus when you are singing with a couple of your friends, versus when you are singing along in a stadium with 100000 people.

The vast majority of us are highly relationship focused, in fact they’ve found that when most people aren’t really thinking about anything specific – in other words, when they are daydreaming – most of the time – what they are thinking about is their relationships…

So this why is facebook so popular, because facebook is about relationships, but facebook is like listening to a recording on your own, it’s not like singing your heart out with 100000 others in a packed stadium.

So why – why do more people make it better. I’m going to tell you why – it all comes down to one word synchronicity and connected to it, is that magic highly misunderstood word often used when talking about how to build incredible relationships, whether it’s in business, or therapy or socially – it’s that magnetic feeling you just can’t get through facebook – live, in the moment, synchronous rapport.

“OK – let’s make neuroscience simple and fun boys and girls.”

Rapport is a synchronised connection – like a unified interactive dance between people. It often feels pleasant, smooth and engaging and it leads to greater creativity and efficiency with others, regardless of whether it’s in a business or personal situation.

It creates a deeper level of understanding between people leading to a genuine bond, even if it only lasts a few seconds. Former Harvard based Distinguished professor of Psychology Robert Rosenthal (or Bob as his friends like to call him – of which I am not since I’ve never met him and finding him on facebook doesn’t count)… – Robert Rosenthal claims rapport always involves 3 elements: mutual focused attention, shared positive feeling and nonverbal coordination in actions. Put attention, positive feeling and coordinated actions together – and you have rapport.

Attention refers to being fully present and engaged with the person, positive feeling is generally witnessed through positive tone of voice and facial expressions and the key nonverbal coordination refers to synchronicity – the way the interaction is paced and timed and coordinated – just like a dance.

So the greater the similarity in people’s actions as they communicate, the stronger the connection if it is coming from a genuine emotion.

Here comes the big myth bust. A lot of business books talk about rapport and the importance of matching and mirroring people in order to build rapport. Copying someone’s body language in order to try and build rapport will not work. It feels fake, and it looks foolish. The person you are matching probably won’t notice what you’re doing, but it will still feel off.

Really, the secret of rapport, is not to be focusing on trying to build rapport. Your focus should always be on trying to understand the person, to feel what they feel by being present AND FULLY ENGAGING with them, the synchronisation will naturally take care of itself. Even if you have to talk about something negative, when you are showing a genuine desire to understand, the process becomes more pleasurable and a better outcome and solution to the problem is often the result.

Now this is the cool part – everything that you see on the outside, will be matched on the inside. Breathing rates synchronise, heart rate, blood pressure, and the same parts of the brain light up in the same way between the people involved. It’s truly a beautiful thing. In our brain we have a type of neuron called mirror neurons, and their job is to get us to match our actions with those of the people around us so we can we can feel what they feel and our bodies and brains can begin dancing in unison. And as they dance, we synchronise more and more, and the stronger the pleasurable feeling becomes between us – it amplifies!!!

So how do you create an experience – how do you get someone to enjoy themself. Ask them? Ask them what they enjoy and ask them more and more about it, ENGAGE THEM and get them to tell you a story about what it is that they enjoy and dive into that story with them – be present as they tell it and let yourself be pulled into it, asking deeper and deeper questions…

So when they talk about their favourite time on the beach you ask what did you see – the waves crashing smoothly against the shore and the sounds of all these children squealing with joy and with massive piles of sand hanging off the back of their swimming costumes, and the smell of salt and vinegar in the air, and a subtle dry wind that you feel against your lips and your skin and you imagine that first step into the water and a thrilling rush of coolness races up your leg and you turn to your partner and they smile and you smile and you lean forward to hug them and they respond with a sudden shove and you are now shaky, off balance, falling and you collide with an oncoming wave and that cold rush floods through your body and you shriek under water and you get back up – alive and alert, and you see them laughing at you and you smile and the focus is no longer on the cold – you’ve already forgotten about it – it’s about revenge and you leap at them and grab their slippery skin and pull them down with you and you both crash into the next oncoming wave.

And all of a sudden, we’ve just shared an experience.

36:00 – Interview with Jenn Lim – 30 minutes – Full transcript in Destiny Defining Decisions. What you learn is below.

· The simple four-step model that Delivering Happiness bases all their successful business and community actions on
· The power of positive intention and how just one business idea can lead to the actual creation of better communities
· The importance of partnering with someone you trust. Jenn speaks candidly about her relationship with Tony Hsieh and how they play the role of each other’s “back-up brain”
· Why every single employee from the ground up is involved in the creation of Delivering Happiness company and community culture
· How to have real fun spreading your message
· The incredible ripple effect of purpose based actions.

106:19 – Fantasy Gift – X-box Engage – Full transcript in Destiny Defining Decisions.

Challenge of the week

I want you commit to building a deeper level of rapport with just one person a day each day this week. Now remember – you don’t have to try and copy them – just pay attention to what they are saying – and dive into the story with them ENGAGE THEM – ask interested questions and smile as you re-live their experiences with them and the synchronisation will take care of itself.

LINKS

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For FREE sample book chapter of Destiny Defining Decisions, which is based on this show, go to http://DestinyDD.com.

For a new FREE report – 5 Business and Life Transforming Insights from 5 New York Times Best-Selling Entrepreneurs, also go to http://DestinyDD.com.

To get Tony Hsieh’ with contributions by Jenn Lim #1 New York Times Best-Selling book, visit http://DeliveringHappinessBook.com.

To see future guests and contact the author, visit http://HappinessEdge.com.

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